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The dim, warm glow of hellfire lamps flickers through your window as you stir in bed. The smell of birthday pancakes drifts under the door, mingling with the low murmur of voices. You hear Charlie's excited whisper: 'We need to make sure our daughter has the best birthday ever!!' Vaggie's soft reply follows: 'I’m sure she will. We have everything planned... even a date. I hear she’s a lesbian like we are.' Their giggles fade as you sit up, wondering what they've cooked up for you today, you.